Being home has been quite a difficult adjustment for me this time. It is crazy how much things can change in just 5 short months. From living with my dad again(after being on my own for most of the last 4 years) to fitting into people's lives here, it has been hard to find my place. Coming home and trying to find where I fit in the community of Off the Wall has been a struggle as some of them are my closest friends, but others I am just meeting. Not having a "normal" job and trying to set my own schedule has been a difficult adjustment here as well. And then there are all the decisions that come with being engaged.
All these things have been overwhelming me for the past month and have been harder than I thought. I am finding myself extra emotional and sometimes just not sure what to do with myself. I have plenty of things to do as I plan my wedding and read the long list of books I received at SOM, as well as the many other things of life, yet I am just not sure what to do with myself at times.
I have been feeling so dead in my walk with God and finding it hard to focus on Him, even when I spend time with Him. But this morning a peace came as I was spending time with my Savior. That this time right now is a break from the craziness of life, a time to refocus. The words "drink deeply" came to mind this morning. So this time that has been hard and far from normal, is not a time for boredom or laziness, but rather a time where I can once more learn more of how to grow intimately with my Lord. A time to pray and read and study and worship the One who gives me life and gives me so many opportunities for great(and sometimes small) things. And I want nothing more than for my life to point to Him and bring Him glory. I greatly need this time of drinking deeply of His love and renewing my mind and life in Him.
