Lately I have not been fully depending on God for my every need. Instead of looking to my Provider, I have been working hard to try meeting my own needs, and looking to my husband for them as well. I think that here in America, its very easy to be in this place and be self dependent. But that is such a miserable place to be.
Its stressful, tiring, and a joy-stealer. So why do I continue to try and do things in my own efforts?
But God has been showing me that we need to come to a place where we must trust Him completely for our needs. To a place where either God has to come through or we fail and fall on our faces.
This doesn't mean that we don't work hard. He calls us to do the work. But we also must realize that it in our efforts alone we cannot accomplish what He has called us to do. Only God working in and through us will things come to pass.
God has really been putting me in that place lately, in many ways. First off, Shaun and I need around $2,000 in monthly supporters by September. This seems absolutely impossible to me and really I have no idea where that money will come from. But thats the beautiful part. God does know. And we are trusting and depending on Him to provide. Either He will provide, or we can't/won't go. Its a scary place to be, but knowing that we are doing His work and that He is the God over impossible situations, I know that we can trust and depend on Him.
As well, Shaun feels led to be fully immersed in ministry life right now, which means we are living on the little support we have and what i get from my part time job. But God is good, and we have what we need. Sometimes its scary and makes me wonder if we will have enough to pay our bills each month, but God is so faithful and He always gives us what we need. Shaun is being faithful to what God is calling him to in this time, and God rewards that. He won't let us fall.
Yesterday at church, we talked about Mark 7:24-30, which is about the mom who goes to Jesus and He basically calls her a dog. This passage has always kinda confused me a little, but yesterday I really got a new perspective on it. The woman recognized that she was undeserving of Jesus' healing her daughter, but she also recognized that Jesus was still able. We too must humbly come to Jesus with our needs and have faith that He will provide.
And sometimes maybe we will fail. Maybe we will fall on our faces. But this should always just bring us back to Jesus' feet. It doesn't matter what we lose, or what hardships come, JESUS LOVES US! His grace is sufficient, His sacrifice covers ALL.
I have been challenged lately to totally depend on God and I just wanted to share that.
