encourage

Lately God has been putting encouragement on my heart and really challenging me in it. "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today...." Heb. 3:13 I know that I am definitely not doing that but it is something I desire to do. I want to come to a place where I speak words of encouragement over others daily, not just sometimes.
Ephesians 4:29 talks about speaking encouraging words to others to build them up in the way that they need instead of putting them down. This means making a conscious effort to look for the ways people need encouragement that day and speaking that over them. The question we need to ask ourselves is, "Am I speaking words of life over people or words of death?" I tend to be sarcastic a lot and, though my friends know I'm kidding usually, it does not change that I am not building them up with the words I speak. I want to change this. I want to lift others up with my words. I know it will be very difficult to change but that's part of the reason I write.  By writing, I am giving each of you the permission to call me out in it and help me recognize the times my words are not lifting my brothers and sisters up.

Valentines Day

Days like today usually make me desire a relationship. I want to be considered lovely. I want to be desired. But right now I just want Jesus. I want to know him more intimately than before. He created me lovely and delights in me. He desires me so much that he went to the cross and bore my sins and conquered death. All so that I could spend an eternity with him.
I am redeemed.
I am chosen.
I am beautifully created.
I am the beloved of the Lord.
I have purpose.
My life, my heart, my everything rests in His hands. And there it will stay. I want to be completely satisfied in him alone. I don't want to be defined by the world or a man or whatever else satan tries to throw at me. My identity is in Jesus Christ alone.

living for today

Many times we hear this phrase, "live for today" but how do we actually really live it out. I think that is something that God has been teaching me recently. So many times I worry about what is to come or how I am going to overcome these sins in my life, but I need to focus on today. We must continue to fight today's fight. We cannot win tomorrows battle, but we will win these battles as we choose to fight each day. I think we forget that. We overcome our sins, our struggles, and the temptations of life by daily choosing to follow Jesus and live in His strength, surrendering all that we are to Him.
Live for today.
What does God want to do in me today? God knows the things we must do each day- work, school, doing the laundry, etc. But He still wants to use us in the midst of that. We need to be willing. Many times when I think about being open or willing to what God wants for me each day, i don't quite know what to do because I have responsibilities (like a job) and things I must do and I feel like the two don't work together. But God can still use us through those things. Don't belittle the mundane things of life that Jesus can use to transform others lives. Have a willing heart. This is definitely something I am trying to learn and apply to my life right now. Its not an easy thing, but it is worth it.
Matt. 22:37...Am i daily trying to give all that I am to God?

Steadfast

So recently I have really been thinking about the word steadfast again. It was a huge part of my time in texas at the HA and has consistently been something that I am reminded of. But recently I have been really learning from it. The dictionary defines it as:

1.

fixed in direction; steadily directed: a steadfast gaze.

2.

firm in purpose, resolution, faith, attachment, etc., as aperson: a steadfast friend.

3.

unwavering, as resolution, faith, adherence, etc.

4.

firmly established, as an institution or a state of affairs.

5.

firmly fixed in place or position.

And so many times when I think about steadfast I think about how I want to be steadfast for the Lord. Unmoving in my love and devotion to him. But in the last few days the Lord has really been showing me how HE is steadfast in his love for me. God is unwavering, firmly established, constant, unmovable in His love for me. There is absolutely nothing that i can do to change that love. What a comfort to know that my Savior loves me in such a way.

Psalm 63:3

Because your steadfast love is better than life,
   my lips will praise you.

Ok where to start? Have had a lot on my mind and on my heart lately. God has really been placing the persecuted church on my heart lately and to pray for them. Also challenging me in my faith, would I be willing to suffer for His name sake? Thats a hard question. I don't know that I can for sure say yes, but I pray that if it happened the Holy Spirit would strengthen me and I could trust that His plan is better than my own. I think we have to remember that life is like a mosaic. All the things we go through are little pieces. Some are beautiful, fun colors, others are ugly and not our favorite. But when the picture is complete, it makes a masterpiece that is beautiful beyond words.(didn't make this analogy up, but I love it and will always remember it) When was the last time you prayed for your brothers and sisters in Christ that are suffering? I know I definitely could use more time of my time praying for them instead of worrying about my tiny little problems.

I have also been realizing that I am not a vulnerable person. I don't like having my guard down for fear of being hurt. I think that I feel like I have to earn people's love or that if they find out what really goes on in my heart, they won't love me anymore or want to be around me. So this makes vulnerability a very scary thing for me. Not really sure what to do with all of this yet, but I guess the first step is realizing the problem. God is just doing a lot in me and its good. 

Also learning patience in my desires. God knows the things that my heart desires and he will fulfill them in HIS way, in HIS time, not mine. I need to trust that. I want to be single-mindedly focused on Him and the things that He wants for me. 

Also have been fully overwhelmed by the gospel and the cross lately. So amazing to think of what he did for me. That I could live with Him in eternity. All for His glory...have been reading and working to memorize Isaiah 53 with my housemates. Its such a powerful passage. Its overwhelming to think about what He did for us...

Recently I started helping with an after-school tutoring program for Latino kids in the area on thursdays.  I love it so much.  This past week they asked me to work with a girl named Claudia. They said that she has quite the attitude(and its true) but because of that, I think they just don't expect her to listen ever or do work. But this week she was supposed to work on a project so we did it together and formed a small bond I think. Afterwards, they asked what I did to make her accomplish something. And honestly I didn't do anything really. Just told her what I expected kinda and helped her do that. But anyways then they told me her story and it absolutely broke my heart. Her family is from Guatemala and when she was a baby, they came to the United States. Unfortunately, because she was a baby, they left her under the care of someone else...alone.. So for 12 years she lived there, not really even knowing her family. Then 2 or so years ago she came to join her family. I'm sure this has so much to do with the way she is... And it just breaks my heart. I ask you to join with me in prayer for Claudia. Pray that God would capture her heart and show her that her true identity is in Christ.

Lord, continue to break my heart for the things that break yours...

I've been trying to think about what to blog recently and have really been wanting to blog, but haven't been able to think about what I should blog. So I have decided just to write tonight and hope its interesting...just going to share my thoughts.
I have been thinking a lot about prayer recently and God has really just been challenging me because I haven't really had much of a prayer life recently...for a long time actually. I definitely would pray, but I didn't have times really dedicated to prayer and just sitting in the presence of the Lord. So yes, though I know I will never really feel like I pray enough, I know that I want to grow in that, and I have been. Prayer really does change things. God has really been showing me that.
"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." -Hebrews 12:2-3
Have been thinking on the Cross recently, reading Isaiah 53 with my roommates as well. Am I really grateful for what Christ has done on the cross for me? If he never blessed me again in my life, would what he has done be enough? Am I living that way?
Yesterday I was reading in 1 Timothy and vs 16 really stuck out to me in that Christ has "unlimited patience" with us...That just really makes me happy. I need that unlimited patience...Thank you Jesus :)