sent by 2

In Luke 10, Jesus sends out his disciples two by two to all the towns to do his work. We studied this passage one day in one of our classes as a little bible study. One of the things that really stuck out to me as we looked at the passage was the fact that Jesus sent them out by two. I have probably read this story a million times and never really noticed this before, but that day it really stuck out to me.
As i began this journey to return to Guatemala to work at NLCH, I thought it was going to be something I did alone(though not completely alone, I knew Jesus would be with me). This made me a little nervous, but I knew that God would supply what I would need to do it. As I continued on in working towards this school and fundraising for Guatemala, I met a girl(Colleen) through facebook who was also wanting to go back to the Children's Home after her internship last fall. We began to call each other and get to know each other a little bit as we both prepared for SOM, where we currently are studying. At the time I thought it would be nice to have a friend to do this with and I was excited to really meet her and get to know her. But after being here for a couple months now, I have found that she has been foundational to my ministry and being at this school. Without her, I'm not sure what I would have done. Jesus definitely knew what he was doing when he planned for us to do this together.
And as we dream together and plan for our ministry in Guatemala with the kids, its crazy how God just continues to use us together. Our goals and visions seem to line up and complete each others. It is something that we probably couldn't do alone, but together I think God is going to use us to really impact the kids.
I am so thankful that God has called us to do this thing together.  He knew exactly what he was doing when he planned for us both to come at this exact time. He calls us out by two. To encourage each other and partner together to really impact his kingdom. I am so thankful for Colleen and excited for what God is going to use us to do together. :)

Faithful in the little

One thing I really think I have been learning in my time here is to be faithful even in the little things. Monday through Thursday for two hours in the afternoon we do "chores" to help out here on the NLAI San Juan property. These times include anything from cleaning to weeding. Some days as we do our tasks though we can't help but wonder what it is really for. Some days it doesn't seem to be productive but rather just busy work and its hard to keep a good attitude in those moments. This week every day seemed to be just that. The worst was probably the day I has to sweep the outside sidewalks in 104 degree windy weather. But please don't think I am complaining. Though it was frustrating and hard, I also was alone the whole time, resulting in time with Jesus. This was a beautiful time of thinking and prayer and I actually really needed it no matter how much I didn't enjoy the work itself. As well this week I have been reminded of some verses. The first comes out of Luke 16:10 and it says, "one who is faithful in very little will also be faithful in much..." this verse has been my encouragement this week. I am trying to remember that it is those small moments of faithfulness that will bring us greater opportunities to show faithfulness. Though sweeping the sidewalks on a windy day or raking grass on a scorching hot day seem pointless and not productive to me, I know that it is also a blessing to the couple who take care of the property and as well could be part of my preparation for the things God has ahead for me. 1 Peter 4:11 says, "...if anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." Although I don't necessarily need physical strength(some days I do!) to accomplish the work set before me, many days I need strength to keep a good attitude and a servant's heart. I know that God has me here in this school for a reason and though it isn't always pleasant, it is ALL to prepare me for things to come. Ephesians 2:10 talks about how we are created in Christ to do good works that he prepared in advance for us to do. And I think a part of him preparing those things is him preparing us to be able to accomplish them. Though these things seem small now, they may be foundational to what is to come. That is what I am trying to remember and continually remind myself. Please pray that I can have a good attitude in these things and be a servant in them.

the Good Shepherd

For one of my classes here this week, I had to write a paper on something I learned from the book of John. One of our classes has been on the book, so we went through it together and were studying it. This was what really stuck out to me and I figured since I already had it written, I would share it on here as well!

The passage that has been sticking out to me has been that of John 10. I have always loved this passage and recently have been reading Psalm 23 a lot. Both refer to our Shepherd and together form a beautiful picture of who the Good Shepherd is. By looking at the two together, we see a fuller picture of Jesus' character and what he means when he says that he is the Good Shepherd.

One of the biggest things that sticks out to me as I look at these passages is that we have a personal relationship as sheep do with their shepherd. In the first line of Psalm 23 it says, "The Lord is my shepherd…" It doesn’t just say that he is a shepherd, but that he is MY shepherd, showing a personal relationship. In the passage in John 10, we see that Jesus says that his sheep listen to his voice and know his voice, because he is their shepherd and so they follow him, knowing he is their shepherd. F.F. Bruce says, “More flocks than one might be accommodated in the same enclosure; but all that was necessary was for the shepherd to stand at the entrance and call; his own sheep would recognize his voice and come to him…”  In our personal relationship with Jesus we must know his voice and listen for his voice. We cannot follow the voices we hear around us in the world. We must come to know our Shepherd's voice and listen to it. We must be like the sheep in verse 5, "they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice."  We must listen to the voice of the true Shepherd and let all others become as a stranger's voice. We each have an individual bond with Jesus, just as sheep with their shepherd. They know their shepherd and he knows them each uniquely, as Jesus points out in verse 14.

Psalm 23 also says, “I shall not be in want…” We find our full satisfaction in Him. We trust that as our Good Shepherd, he will give us all that we need. Verse 2 says, “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.” This is saying that he knows our needs and when we are hungry or thirsty, we can trust him to provide those things. In John 4 Jesus also talks about the living water and in chapter 6, the bread of life. Not only will Jesus provide the things we need physically, but even greater than this, he will provide our eternal needs and satisfy our souls.

In verse 3, we see that our Shepherd will guide us in the way we need to go. John 10:4 talks about Jesus going out before us so we have a path to follow. An interesting thing that I learned is that, while cattle can be pushed, sheep prefer to be led. They will not react to someone yelling and pushing them in the direction they are to go. Instead, they need to be led. They will follow where their shepherd takes them, trusting he knows what is best for them. They have nothing to fear, knowing their shepherd is with them, guiding and protecting them with his rod and staff(Psalm 23:4), and knowing he would lay his own life down on their behalf(John 10:11).

In John 10:10, we see that Jesus says he has come, “that they may have life, and have it to the full.” He gives what we need to have abundant life. F.F. Bruce says, “The ‘good’ shepherd shows himself to be a good shepherd because the welfare of the sheep, not his own, is his primary care.” In Psalm 23:5, David says, “…you anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows.” showing the provision of the Shepherd. He does not come to steal anything from us or destroy our lives, but to give us life to the full.  I think the final verse of the Psalm sums up what this life to the full can look like when he says, “Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” True life won’t mean earthly blessings in our lives, but rather a life focused on the things of God. Not a life distracted by earthly pleasures, but a life filled with love, both for the Lord and those around us.

Prayer

As I begin this new journey back to Guatemala God has been teaching me so much already in our School of Missions(SOM). The past couple days we have been having a prayer retreat and it has really challenged my heart. Many times out lives are so busy and we can even busy them with things like ministry and then pray and ask God to bless our ministry. But what if, instead of just surrounding our ministries in prayer, our ministries flowed out of our prayers. Lives and hearts are changed as a result of our prayers, not our actions. Only God can truly change people and make our ministry effective. Our actions are the tools but God is the one working. And so our prayers are the most important part of our ministry. I'm not sure if I'm explaining this quite like I want to but hopefully this all makes sense.
I have really been challenged in my prayer life. If I want to help change lives, it starts with prayer. One thing that was said that I really liked was that there are 3 main parts to ministry: prayer, listening to others, and communication.
We also talked about how there are different ways to pray. The three main ones(that we talked about) are praying with others words, praying without words, and praying with our own words.
We can use the psalms or other scripture to pray, or even join in the thousands of brothers and sisters who join daily in fixed-hour prayer. This one was a little strange to me at first but after doing it a couple days I really like it. Joining with others at a set time to pray and refocus on God can be a powerful thing(if you want more info on this ask me).
Praying without words is something that I learned is extremely hard for me. I get so distracted as I sit and try to focus and I got frustrated. But we also had the story of a little boy who was with his father and he would sit with him for a couple minutes and then get distracted for a bit with toys or other things. But the father loved the moments that his son would stop playing with his toys, even for a minute, and turn his attention to his father and just sit with him. I don't know if I told the story exactly right but the point is that God loves when we take the time to sit with him, despite distractions or even if we fall asleep. This kind of prayer is something I really want to grow in. I want to sit at the King's feet and just listen. It is a discipline I need to learn. Another thing that I learned about it is that there will be times when we feel like we have wasted our time and it wasn't productive but those are the times we must work through and be faithful to continue doing it.
And finally we talked about praying and talking to God as a friend(John 15:5). Just sharing your heart with him and talking.
And to finish we asked 3 questions. Who do I want to be? How do I want to live? How do I want to live so that I can be who I want to be?
I want my life to be one where I am prayerful. I hope this encourages others to pray and be challenged in the things I have been challenged with the last couple days. :)
It excites me that it's only te first week and already God is teaching me so much. :)

Its amazing how much God can speak to you through a sunrise, or lack there of. Yesterday I got up early and decided that I was going to watch the sunrise with Jesus. But instead of a beautiful sunrise filling the sky with brilliant colors, it was a cold, cloudy morning. Though it wasn't absolutely beautiful and breath-taking, it was truly what I needed that morning. Sometimes we make plans and feel like they going to glorify God, and maybe those things could glorify him, but the question is whether or not it is the best way we can glorify him.
Today I was reading in a book I love and was really challenged and encouraged.

If I hold spiritual blessings or friendship for myself they will corrupt me, no matter how beautiful they are. I have to pour them out before the Lord, give them to Him in my mind, though it looks as if I am wasting them, even as David poured the water out on the sand, to be instantly sucked up.

-Elisabeth Elliot(Passion and Purity)(quoting Oswald Chambers)

Steadfastness, that is holding on;

patience, that is holding back;

expectancy, that is holding the face up;

obedience, that is holding one's self in readiness to go or do;

listening, that is holding quiet and still so as to hear.

How long, Lord, must I wait?

Never mind, child. Trust me.

(same book)(quoting S.D. Gordon)

I have been trying to do things in my own timing recently, thinking I knew what was best. But God is really showing me that His ways are good and perfect and definitely don't need my assistance. I need only follow in obedience and trust Him as I go.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart;

and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all of your ways acknowledge him

and he will direct your path.

Be not wise in your own eyes...

Proverbs 3:5-7

encourage

Lately God has been putting encouragement on my heart and really challenging me in it. "But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today...." Heb. 3:13 I know that I am definitely not doing that but it is something I desire to do. I want to come to a place where I speak words of encouragement over others daily, not just sometimes.
Ephesians 4:29 talks about speaking encouraging words to others to build them up in the way that they need instead of putting them down. This means making a conscious effort to look for the ways people need encouragement that day and speaking that over them. The question we need to ask ourselves is, "Am I speaking words of life over people or words of death?" I tend to be sarcastic a lot and, though my friends know I'm kidding usually, it does not change that I am not building them up with the words I speak. I want to change this. I want to lift others up with my words. I know it will be very difficult to change but that's part of the reason I write.  By writing, I am giving each of you the permission to call me out in it and help me recognize the times my words are not lifting my brothers and sisters up.

Valentines Day

Days like today usually make me desire a relationship. I want to be considered lovely. I want to be desired. But right now I just want Jesus. I want to know him more intimately than before. He created me lovely and delights in me. He desires me so much that he went to the cross and bore my sins and conquered death. All so that I could spend an eternity with him.
I am redeemed.
I am chosen.
I am beautifully created.
I am the beloved of the Lord.
I have purpose.
My life, my heart, my everything rests in His hands. And there it will stay. I want to be completely satisfied in him alone. I don't want to be defined by the world or a man or whatever else satan tries to throw at me. My identity is in Jesus Christ alone.