community

Lately I think I have been learning a lot about community. This week, as I talked with a couple of friends, I was reminded of how much we really need it and its importance.  Many times I think I feel as if I have to do life on my own, solve my own problems, face my battles alone, even be motivated alone. But then I fail, get discouraged, and sometimes feel miserable, not wanting others to see all of this. I don't think its that I don't want others to be a part of my life. But I think many times we want to try and be strong on our own and think it will cause us to grow. I don't even think we realize how much we really do this. We may even take it all to Christ and ask Him to help or be our strength(which is most important), but we don't think about the fact that He has placed others in our lives to walk through life together.

But we were made for community.  God calls us to bear one another's burdens(Gal. 6:2). To encourage each other daily(Heb. 3:13)

This doesn't mean we look to them first for all our needs. First we take them to Christ and know that He is all we need. But He has also placed people in our lives for a purpose.

We don't have to do life alone. We were made for relationships and for community.  I think when we recognize this and live in it, we can truly glorify God through our relationships with other and with our lives. As we focus on the needs of those around us, our problems don't feel so hard, so bad.

Encourage someone today. Ask how they are doing. Ask what God is teaching them. Be a community with those God has placed in your life.

"But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called 'Today,' so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin."
                     - Hebrews 3:13

"...that their hearts may be encouraged, having been knit together in love, and attaining to all the wealth that comes from the full assurance of understanding, resulting in a true knowledge of God's mystery, that is, Christ Himself, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."
                     - Colossians 2:2-3

Kingdom Focus

Since the beginning of being at the SOM, God really began to open my eyes to His Kingdom and the power that being focused on it can have in our world and our lives. Even since being home, God has continually been bringing this before my eyes and reminding me and teaching me more about it.

The Kingdom of God is something that Jesus talked about a lot. And we see through His teaching that it is in the hearts of His followers, not just a physical kingdom. When we are focused on the Kingdom, it affects everything that we do, and all that we are. It affects our attitudes, our actions, and our thoughts.  Jesus taught us that there is so much to His Kingdom and he welcomes us to be a part of it.

"As much as you can believe for, you can have." This is one thing that has stuck with me from SOM. Our teacher was talking about the Kingdom, and this has continually challenged me. Why is it that many times we are living outside of the Kingdom? Are we really believing we can live in the Kingdom? "What you can see, you can enter; what you can't see, you can't enter." Are we looking for the Kingdom in our daily lives? Do we really believe we can have the promises of Jesus that come with living in the Kingdom of God? "What you see determines how you will live." In 2 Kings 6, Elisha had confidence in the time of trouble because he could see how the Lord was protecting them, but his servant feared because he could not see until the Lord opened his eyes to it.

My prayer is that God would open my eyes to His Kingdom, and what he is doing in my life and those around me. I want eyes to see what the Lord is doing, that I may be confident and not fear or worry.

When we live in the Kingdom, we are able to recognize that our identity is in Christ. That he loves us, with an eternal love, that does not depend on us in any way, and He will care for our needs. We are secure in Him, and that can lead us to take our focus off of ourselves, and meet the needs of others.

This is my desire for my life, that I can live a life that is not about myself, but God, and His Kingdom. And out of that, serve and love the people God puts in my life. Many times I forget or am not thinking, but I pray that I could be more aware and mindful of this, and live it out.

God's provision

Sometimes money can make me really anxious. I know all the verses about how God is our provider and how he loves and takes care of us but still many times I worry.

Recently Shaun and I have been needed a second car. Living 20 minutes apart makes it very difficult to share, especially when our schedules aren't the same. Last month in my newsletter to supporters I asked for prayer for that. Then that Sunday at church(it was in the bulletin prayer requests) someone said they might know of a car from a family in the church. The Thomas family had 6 days until they would be leaving for Kenya to do missions work and needed to sell their truck. We especially wanted a truck because my dad wants one and said he will buy it from us when we leave next year.
Now neither of us had much money but I had some in my savings so we had set a budget for what we could pay accordingly(which wasn't very much). But they ended up selling it to us for half of what we had thought, which was definitely less than what it was worth.
Now we are learning to drive standard which is also a blessing because we will need that in guatemala.
Then the next week Shaun found a job which we have been praying for as well.

This may not be the most interesting post to read but God has really been blessing us this month a lot and I wanted to share it and give Him praise for it. I am so thankful for His provision and the ways he works in our lives.

Jesus is in the boat

Mark 4:35-41

I love this story. After a full day of teaching many parables and explaining many things to the disciples, Jesus has them go out on the boat. I'm sure he knew there was a storm coming and that it would be a rough journey, but he still had them cross. I love that he was sleeping in the boat while they were all freaking out about the storm. I love that he just tells the storm to stop and it of course listens.

I think a lot of times I am like the disciples. Even though Jesus is with me in this journey, when it gets hard I just want to ask him if he cares what happens. But He has the power to take the storms away. He isn't worried about the trivial things I worry about or fear. Sometimes I just really need to remember that Jesus is in the boat. He is in control. He knows what is coming and what will take place. I do not need to fear. He can calm any storm. He can quiet the waters. He can bring stillness and make things calm. I just need to have the faith that He will do so. 

Drink deeply

Being home has been quite a difficult adjustment for me this time. It is crazy how much things can change in just 5 short months. From living with my dad again(after being on my own for most of the last 4 years) to fitting into people's lives here, it has been hard to find my place. Coming home and trying to find where I fit in the community of Off the Wall has been a struggle as some of them are my closest friends, but others I am just meeting. Not having a "normal" job and trying to set my own schedule has been a difficult adjustment here as well. And then there are all the decisions that come with being engaged.
All these things have been overwhelming me for the past month and have been harder than I thought. I am finding myself extra emotional and sometimes just not sure what to do with myself. I have plenty of things to do as I plan my wedding and read the long list of books I received at SOM, as well as the many other things of life, yet I am just not sure what to do with myself at times.
I have been feeling so dead in my walk with God and finding it hard to focus on Him, even when I spend time with Him. But this morning a peace came as I was spending time with my Savior. That this time right now is a break from the craziness of life, a time to refocus. The words "drink deeply" came to mind this morning. So this time that has been hard and far from normal, is not a time for boredom or laziness, but rather a time where I can once more learn more of how to grow intimately with my Lord. A time to pray and read and study and worship the One who gives me life and gives me so many opportunities for great(and sometimes small) things. And I want nothing more than for my life to point to Him and bring Him glory. I greatly need this time of drinking deeply of His love and renewing my mind and life in Him.

Do not worry

So lately I feel like God has really been teaching me about not worrying. I feel like this is a lesson I continue to need to learn and often forget but lately it has been everywhere I look.

A book I read the other week defined worry as, " a disproportionate level of concern based on an inappropriate measure of fear." There is a difference between having legit concern and worry. Worry comes from a divided mind. We aren't focused on what God is doing and can do in the situation but rather on the danger or unrealistic fear we have of what is to come. This morning I was reading a little devo and it talked about worry as well. It talked about focusing on today and not worrying about tomorrow. One part of it said, "Most anxious thoughts are related to the future…For today you need wisdom. For tomorrow you need Faith." How often do I worry about tomorrow? And yet nothing good can come from that worrying. It only hurts. Us. Our relationship with God. And even our relationships with others at times. As well it can destroy our joy. 

So why do we continue to worry? As I was reading a book, the author gave an interesting answer to this. It is because it makes us feel in control. We convince ourselves that by worrying we can keep from harm and therefore have control. But Jesus continually asks us to give him control and surrender those worries to him. When we trust God, we focus on His kingdom and his abundant resources, but when we live in worry we put ourselves on the throne and live for ourselves. "Seeking the Kingdom first means facing our trials and troubles not with anxiety but with trust that God can and will work through them." Not worrying doesn't mean that we aren't going to have struggles in this life. But rather that we know our Father has us in His hand and will use those things for His glory. When we recognize that our identity is in Christ, and not ourselves, those worries become less important and we are more focused on the truth of the Kingdom.

"How much of our prayer life is spent anxious? Spent trying to figure things out ourselves?" Someone challenged me with this last week. I was challenged to instead just sit with God about the things that make me worry or anxious, not trying to change it. But just sitting with God and knowing that He is in control.  Psalm 46:10

Matt. 6:25-34

Which Covenant are you living under?

About a month or so ago, we had a class on Basic Bible Doctrines. At first I wasn't really looking forward to this class because the title made me think that it was going to be all stuff that I knew and so be boring. Well I think that it was actually my favorite class we have had here. I learned so much through it. In the class, we had an assignment to write a paper on 3 things we learned from the book The Two Covenants by A. Murray. Basically I am just going to share the paper and maybe change or add a few things :)

        Before reading this book, I thought I had a basic understanding of the two Covenants in the bible and a general idea of the difference between them. But through this, I have realized that I had only scratched the surface of all that is in this great work of God. Before reading I had thought that the main importance and difference between the Old Covenant and the New Covenant was that one was based on works and the other was based on God’s work of grace. I knew that the Old Covenant was important, but I didn't fully understand why. The main things that I have really learned are that there is so much difference between the Covenants, that in reality they are nothing alike. As well that obedience is a part of both, it just looks different in how it comes. The final thing is the important truth that it is all a complete work of God and not of my own.
       Though my knowledge of the difference between the Covenants was fairly accurate, it was incomplete as well. One of the major differences is that the Old Covenant is by our works and the New Covenant is through faith that God can do the work in us. There are many truths from the Word that talk about the New Covenant and the freedom that comes from living in it, as opposed to living in the Old Covenant. The Old Covenant is a vital part of the story though. It reveals to us that we are completely unable to live a life of obedience alone and are in great need of God to do it for us. One of the things that stuck out to me in the book was the statement, “true worship of God---a heart and life entirely dependent upon Him,” and how the Old Covenant completely missed this. It was done out of human effort and striving, and did not look to God to do this. Through all of this, I have come to realize that I think I live under the Old Covenant many times. I think I have been living in bondage to the law, working and striving in my own self effort to please God. But I am coming to realize that this only hinders the faith that God can do this for me and is faithful to do it. Another line that stuck out to me was that, “That spirit may be found amidst very great zeal for God's service, and very earnest prayer for His grace; it does not enjoy the rest of faith, and cannot overcome sin, because it does not stand in the liberty with which Christ has made us free, and does not know that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.” I felt like it was a clear picture of my life. I want to serve God and I pray for His work in my life, but continue to fall backwards because I am not trusting in the freedom that is found in the New Covenant.
       This leads to the next thing that I have learned from this. Though it may not look the same in the New Covenant, as it does in the Old Covenant, it is still an essential piece to what God is calling us to be. And at the root of why we cannot live a life of obedience in the New Covenant is the unbelief in our hearts. Though the New Covenant is through faith, it is not a substitute for our obedience. Rather our faith ensures our obedience by knowing in our heart the joy and power that come from it, through the Holy Spirit. At the root of our disobedience is the unbelief that God can do it in us and for us. We must surrender our hearts to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to do His work in us, through the power that only comes from Him. One thing that stuck out to me was that obedience is essential, possible, of faith, and a blessing. Many times through my own effort, I try to obey the things that God’s word commands us to do. Sometimes it lasts for a little while, but eventually the striving becomes too much and too difficult and I fail. And I am learning that this obedience is not of my own effort, but rather it is from God. The truth is that we are commanded to obey, but we cannot do it in and of ourselves. We must through faith, walk in this obedience. An example that the book used was that just as the laws of the Old Covenant were written on the stone tablets, making them a lasting document. But through the New Covenant, the Holy Spirit writes the law on our hearts. And after written, we are “unchangeably identified with it.” As the law written on stone was permanent, so is it with our heart, making a life of obedience something desired.
       The other thing that I have really learned from this has been the fact that it is a work of God alone, and not of my own doing. It is by His power that I can obey what He has commanded. The example of the covenant God made with Abraham is a beautiful picture of this to me. Through it God showed that he would not only remain faithful to the covenant, but by doing the work for Abraham in the covenant ceremony, he showed that he would also fulfill Abraham’s part in the covenant. He has secured the obedience needed by being faithful not only for himself, but faithful for us as well. He is unchangeably faithful in his covenant and through the Holy Spirit makes us the same. So often I try to be faithful and do the work of being obedient. But this has shown me that God had already done the work and makes my heart right with him on his own. I need only to believe that he can do it. Through the New Covenant we must look to God alone for strength and teaching, and believe that he is going to provide for our every need in this. I cannot do it on my own. I need to rely on him.
       Through this book and study on the Two Covenants, I have really learned of my utter dependence and need for God alone to do the work of the New Covenant in me. My prayer has become that He would help me to believe what he promises in the New Covenant and to leave my life of striving under the Old Covenant. I know that He alone can do this work and that He is faithful to see it through. I can rest assured that God will change my heart and conform it to be more like Christ through his Holy Spirit. I can rest in the fact that He is the one that brings me to obedience and the joy that can be in that.

Even though I wrote this over a month ago, it continues to challenge me. I share it in hopes that it can encourage and challenge others as well. Sorry it is so long, but as I said before, it was a paper for class.