i think that i am probably the most inconsistent blogger in the entire world! sorry!!! but I'm feeling a bit inspired right now. had some guatemalan coffee earlier so i cant really sleep, so what if i work at 6 tomorrow mornings. ha whatever. Also feelin a little inspired after reading through sophie's blog tonight. :) thanks soph!

Can't believe that in 4 short days I will returning to Guatemala to see all the people that I love so dearly down there at the children's home. :) I will try to keep all of you updated on how its going and what God's teaching me while I'm there...but we all know how i am at that.

Jesus has just been teachin me so much I don't even know where to start! um ok I guess the huge thing that God has been teaching me right now is JOY. Even when times get tough I can still have joy in Christ. Everywhere I go recently, it seams they are teaching on joy. church, sunday school, awe service, new grounds, reconnect...The Lord just keeps bringing me to the book of Philippians. My pastor gave a good definition for joy at church the other week- a peace, a confidence, trusting God in times of struggle. I love that joy isnt about being happy because reality is we aren't gonna be happy all the time. I can't control my circumstances, but I can trust God that he has a plan and find joy in that. Another thing that should bring us joy is to know that Jesus overcame...our sins, our mistakes, our failures, our past, our hurt...He has overcome them all...and given victory in times of trouble. Overcoming these feelings may not always look the way we expect them to but God will always come through.  He is there to give peace, to give joy, in the midst of those hard times.

      " I will not fear the war
        I will not fear the storm
        My help is on the way
        My help is on the way

        Oh my God He will not delay
        My refuge and strength always
        I will not fear His promise is true
        My God will come through always, always."

I've decided to start blogging again. Its been a while and though I don't know if anyone will read it, I want to start writing again. It has been over a year since my journey to Guatemala began, which is where my blog started. But now it has been almost 8 months since I've been home and the Lord is continuing to work in my life, and keeping Guatemala on my heart. 

I have been living at the Off the Wall girls house with my friends and the Lord has blessed me so much. I am constantly surrounded by women who love Jesus and it is so encouraging to my relationship with the Lord. Though I do not enjoy my job, the Lord has been working mightily through it to stretch me and teach me to love more like Christ. It is definitely a challenge some days, but I know that Jesus is with me and is working in my life through it all. 

The Lord has also opened the door for me to return to Guatemala to visit and serve NLCH once more for the month of April. I look forward to seeing the children that have completely stolen my heart and continue to love them with the love of Jesus. I pray that Christ would be glorified in my time there, as well as in my life from day to day.

its hard to believe this is my last few days, my last weekend, here in guatemala. my time here has gone so fast and i can't even believe all that has happened in my life these past months. the other day someone asked me to share with them my experience when i get home and as i began to think about what to share, i was slightly overwhelmed. how do you summarize 6 months of this? i'm sure i will figure it out. as for now, please be praying for my last few days here to be enjoyed and that i could have good final memories. also be praying for what God has for me next.

my past week has consisted of some interesting things. So a little over a week ago, volcano Pacaya decided to erupt and rain down ash all over the city. I don't even know where to begin to describe what has happened this past week. Ok so that happened on a thursday and it was really cool at first and fun to play in, but kinda hurt if you stood out in it while it was raining down. but it was pretty small. the largest we could find was like maybe the size of a marble and those weren't very common. It kinda reminded us all of black snow. we played in it a little and everything. wrote our names in the few inches of ash on the ground and just messed around. So then the next day, friday, we realized it really wasnt that cool. Yes it was like snow, but the wonderful thing about snow is that it melts and goes away on its own. so now you may be asking, well then how in the world do you get rid of inches of ash that are covering EVERYTHING!? well that is a very good question and yes it did cover absolutely everything, including roofs and well i dont know anything you can think of. well you must then use shovels and brooms and clean it. but what really stinks is that it is currently rainy season. so friday it rained off and on making the ash really heavy and difficult to move. So as some of you may know, saturday decided to add to the interestingness of life here in guatemala. Agatha, a tropical storm, decided to come and it rained the entire day. poured actually. it never stopped raining the entire day. So this caused much flooding and mudslides here in guatemala and many roads were closed and many homes were destroyed. but we werent affected by it really minus the fact that we got tons and tons of rain.

so then all schools were closed for the week because of all that had happened, which was good because we had quite a bit to clean. So monday started the cleaning process and we shoveled and swept ash all week. we would load it into our 2 trucks and our wheel barrels and unload them in this one area in a pile. it was quite difficult since the ash was still pretty wet, which made it very heavy. So yeah we worked super hard, and i dont think i've every done so much physical labor so much in one week, quite intense. we got on roofs to clean, which was hard. thursday i had to help clean the gutters of one of the roofs, which was super scary since we had to sit on the very edge of the roof to do that, but it had to be done. so that was my super interesting week of cleaning. I still don't feel like the ash is ever going to go away. its everywhere still. but it definitely looks a lot more normal than usual.

Life is finally getting to be normal again. :)

only 2 weeks left here. :(

The last month has been really good. I can't believe that it has been so long that I have been here. I feel like my spanish is at a pretty good place now. there are still many times that i don't understand but i definitely know a lot more than I used to know.

The picture is of Kevin and Julia. They are two of our new kids that we received last month. Julia(5) came from an abusive home. Kevin(4) and his little brother, Melvin(2), came from a very poor situation. Please pray for them as they adjust to living here at the Home.

I think one of my favorite things to do is to watch the super little kids. They are so precious and can distract me from anything anytime. Sometimes not good but kinda funny.

Yesterday I felt like something really wonderful happened. There is one older girl who used to just intimidate me so so much. she is a lot older and she can be kinda rude sometimes. but yesterday she found me after lunch and said she wanted to talk. She told me that she was sorry if she had been rude to me or scared me. she didnt want me to think that way about her. she was super honest and said she didnt really want to be friends but that she also wanted it to be that we could be friendly and nice(i dont really know how to say what she said lol sorry). but it was so wonderful and so good. i now feel like all the kids at least are willing to talk to me and there isnt anyone who i really want to avoid or anything. its good.

There have been some days that were harder but i really feel like i'm getting to know exactly what i do. which is almost always different, but good. the kids have found that I am really good at math so i help a lot with math homework and obviously english homework as well. I enjoy it, although it can get frustrating because I'm not very good at explaining math in english, let alone spanish. but i think i am getting better and i know lots of spanish math terms now lol. :)

This coming Wednesday I am going to be speaking for the devotional with all of the kids. I am very nervous but i know that the Lord is going to give me the words to say. Oh and also i will be doing in spanish, i wont be doing it in english and having someone translate it. So that definitely makes it harder and scarier as well. Please pray for confidence as i speak to them and also that the Lord would show me exactly what it is he wants me to talk to them about.

Also please be praying for what i do when i get home. I really don't know the next step that the Lord has for me yet. I know that in His timing He will show me His plan and He is teaching me patience through this as well as learning to trust Him, as well as living where I am now and not in the future. But please be praying for direction. thank you!

some new kids...

Tonight we recieved two new little boys. Melvin(2) and Kevin(4). it touched my heart so much to see the whole thing transpire. I would like to share my evening with you of all that happened.

I ate with the little boys tonight, and as we began eating, Xiomara, our house mom for the little boys, was told that the boys had arrived. She left the house(leaving her son and i in charge :/ lol) and went to get the boys in the office. When they came back, we were all done eating and the kids were very excited to meet our new little guys. They were crying when they came in, and I can only imagine how scared they must have been through it all. Our house mom took them upstairs to bath them and afterwards we prayed over them and blessed them. It was a very moving time. We got them some food and they were very hungry. To watch all of it and the way our other little boys were so willing to help was amazing. They all wanted to make them feel loved and just let them know that they were safe. when they were done eating i carried Kevin upstairs and i'll never forget it. the boys all had their toys set out ready for him to play with them. He was shy at first but it was so cool watching them show him how to do different things with their cars or little action figures. A little later he was playing and laughing with a couple of our 10 or 11 year olds and just loving being there. I dont feel like I will be able to forget tonight. It was such a sad thing to see, but at the same time so wonderful...It really touched my heart. They are quite precious... :) Please pray for them as they adjust to being here.

We have now had 8 new kids in the last month. That isn't normal, but please be praying for all of them as they adjust to being here. It can be a difficult adjustment.

city of refuge

This past week I had the opportunity to go to a squatter camp with some of our missionaries and a group that was here. Our missionaries have connections with a church/pastor who lives and works up there. Working through the church we were given a few projects and, working with the locals, we helped improve three houses up there. I got to help the house pictured above. As you can kinda see, the house doesnt have a front wall, so we dug a hole and helped to build a block wall in front of their house. I think the projects were really good because the people were willing to help us as well and it wasnt us fixing their problems. it was us coming behind them to help them get it done faster. I really hope to be able to work up there with them more before i leave.

We can see the village in our backyard. its crazy how close to home it is and yet how different they live. i was told that about 50% of guatemalans are living in chronic malnourishment and it is the 4th highest in malnourishment in the world...even more so than Haiti...When i was told this, I couldnt believe it. How is it that I am living in a country so beautiful, yet filled with such poverty, such despair...

The little boy in the picture is Paco, or Franko, he went by both names. He was the youngest of the kids living in the house i worked on, and he was such a precious boy. I got to play with him and i think it was the highlight of my time up there. He was a boy with very little material things, but the happiness i saw in him, i will not forget...