intricacy of God's creation

So I am now working at an eye doctor's office(which is totally a job from the Lord! thank You Jesus) and I'm still in training but I am sure that I will always be learning new things there. This morning as I was reading my bible before work I came to Matt. 6:22, "the eye is the lamp of the body..." and I love this verse now. I think reading it, I always thought it was more figurative than actually medical, but in fact the eye really is the lamp of the body. Doctors can know so much about other health issues just from the eye(SO COOL!) and I'm sure that you are all kind of wondering why in the world I am talking so much about eyes, but its just because God created them so amazingly intricate. I have learned so much already on how the eye works and the different parts of the eye and really I don't remember it all but it just continues to amaze me. You can actually use a tool and look into the pupil of someone's eye and see the back of the eye. The eye has so many layers and parts and it does so much...and yet they are so tiny. This just makes me once more in awe of our God. :) I can't even begin to tell of all the cool things about eyes, there's just so much. I feel like there was so much more I wanted to say but I'm really tired so I think I'm gonna just stop there. Be in awe of the things that seem so simple and tiny. They may be some of God's most detailed creations :)

I've been wanting to start blogging again here recently but every time I go to blog, my mind just goes blank and I don't know what I feel like talking about. But today is the day I will blog! :)

This morning I was listening to Polen band(for those who don't know, they are a local worship band, my friends, and well they are just great!) Anyways I was listening to their one song called Labels and the one line really stuck out to me today. It said "Don't be afraid cuz our mistakes can't forever label us....forgiven and free..." Even if our mistakes were to label us for our entire life, that's not forever...and that is quite a freeing thought. Our lives here are short, like a vapor. We must learn and grow from our mistakes, and then move on. 

Lately I have been realizing how many labels i really do put on myself and believe others have put on me as well. And I feel like I have all these expectations on me and if i mess up then people will stop loving me as much or something. I don't know. But the Lord has really been revealing all of this to me. I think I have been cheapening grace and without realizing it, thinking that it all depends on my works. read Eph. 2:8-10 recently and it just blew me away. I always knew verses 8-9 together, and then verse 10 but for some reason I never connected them. It is by grace, not works that we are saved, but yet we were created in Jesus to do good works. 

Not saved by them, but created to do them.

And all of this so that we may only boast in Jesus name..not our own...so beautiful.

I've been finding so many verses recently about how its not about what I do but what Christ has already done and the grace he extends to me. 

"Walking in the light does not mean sinlessness. It means seeing our sin, confessing, and fighting it as forgiven.(based on 1 John 1:7-9)" - John Piper(been following him on twitter and I think its from the Lord because sometimes he tells me exactly what I need to hear)

I've been reading Shadow of the Almighty: Life and Testimony of Jim Elliot recently...good book.

"'In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength.' I think the devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements: noise, hurry, crowds. If he can keep us hearing radios, gossip, conversation, or even sermons, he is happy. But he will not allow quietness. For he believes Isaiah where we do not. Satan is quite aware of the power of silence. The voice of God, though persistent, is soft..."

When was the last time you sat in silence with the Creator of the Universe?

alejandro :)

The past few days i have been spending countless hours with Alejandro. He came to the home this past fall and he is 3 years old. He can't really talk, but he is learning. And you learn to understand what grunts are for what lol. He has quite the special place in my heart though. There is just something about him that is just so incredibly precious. I think that 2 and 3 year olds are my favorite age to watch kids. There is just something about them. Tonight I ate in the little boys house and after dinner I asked the house mother if there was anything i could help her with. she asked me to give Alejandro his shower. I kinda was startled by that but was then like ok i can do this. lol. last year i was asked to give one of the other toddler boys his shower so it wasnt as difficult. it was kinda funny...definitely got wet. but it was funny. Josue, usually a troublemaker, was quite the helper though. he got me his towel, shampoo, and set out his clothes for me. and then watched me the whole time. it was surprising but so great. I just love the kids here so much...

rats, beans, and mending relationships

So I have been here for a week and a half now and it has been so wonderful to get to return to Guatemala and to NLCH to serve the kids and missionaries and staff in any way i possibly can. I love it. Last year I hated beans and this year before I came, I prayed a lot about that and that the Lord would just enable me to eat them. I know that sounds like a silly prayer but thats how much I couldnt eat them. so since I've been here I really feel like that has changed. I mean i still dont like them but i can eat them now and they are growing on me. I love when God answers even the smallest of prayers.
One of the interesting things about this trip so far has been the little friends I have living in my ceiling. They aren't loud all the time but sometimes it sounds like someone is walking on my roof..but no that would be the rats running around in the ceiling...thankfully i havent had to see any of them yet but still quite disgusting.
I have had a few opportunities to leave the children's home with one of the house moms this year and it has been really cool. we dont live in the safest of places in the city so it makes me nervous to go walking out of the home(cars are a different story) but I got to go this little store where they can buy school supplies and it was the weirdest thing. it was just a blue building like all the others but then in the window it had a little doorbell lookin thing. no signs, nothing indicating it was a store. you just had to know. loved it. made me laugh. then another day i got to walk to the mall thats not too far from the home with the same house mom, Gledia, and some of the older boys so they could get new shoes. they didnt like the ones at the mall though, mostly too expensive, so we went back to the market(which is way closer to the home) and thats where they ended up getting their shoes. but it was a cool experience. I love getting to leave with the guatemalans. its just a completely different experience than if your with gringos.
this trip i have really wanted to build my relationships with the older girls and just be a friend to them. The Lord has really blessed me in that. I really feel like my relationships with them are starting to go a little deeper and I can see that many of them really trust me. I've been really enjoying spending lots of time with them. last year i didnt have the greatest of relationships with many of them but i really feel like thats changing. :)
In many ways this place just feels like home....more to come probably...but i'm tired right now. :)

i think that i am probably the most inconsistent blogger in the entire world! sorry!!! but I'm feeling a bit inspired right now. had some guatemalan coffee earlier so i cant really sleep, so what if i work at 6 tomorrow mornings. ha whatever. Also feelin a little inspired after reading through sophie's blog tonight. :) thanks soph!

Can't believe that in 4 short days I will returning to Guatemala to see all the people that I love so dearly down there at the children's home. :) I will try to keep all of you updated on how its going and what God's teaching me while I'm there...but we all know how i am at that.

Jesus has just been teachin me so much I don't even know where to start! um ok I guess the huge thing that God has been teaching me right now is JOY. Even when times get tough I can still have joy in Christ. Everywhere I go recently, it seams they are teaching on joy. church, sunday school, awe service, new grounds, reconnect...The Lord just keeps bringing me to the book of Philippians. My pastor gave a good definition for joy at church the other week- a peace, a confidence, trusting God in times of struggle. I love that joy isnt about being happy because reality is we aren't gonna be happy all the time. I can't control my circumstances, but I can trust God that he has a plan and find joy in that. Another thing that should bring us joy is to know that Jesus overcame...our sins, our mistakes, our failures, our past, our hurt...He has overcome them all...and given victory in times of trouble. Overcoming these feelings may not always look the way we expect them to but God will always come through.  He is there to give peace, to give joy, in the midst of those hard times.

      " I will not fear the war
        I will not fear the storm
        My help is on the way
        My help is on the way

        Oh my God He will not delay
        My refuge and strength always
        I will not fear His promise is true
        My God will come through always, always."

I've decided to start blogging again. Its been a while and though I don't know if anyone will read it, I want to start writing again. It has been over a year since my journey to Guatemala began, which is where my blog started. But now it has been almost 8 months since I've been home and the Lord is continuing to work in my life, and keeping Guatemala on my heart. 

I have been living at the Off the Wall girls house with my friends and the Lord has blessed me so much. I am constantly surrounded by women who love Jesus and it is so encouraging to my relationship with the Lord. Though I do not enjoy my job, the Lord has been working mightily through it to stretch me and teach me to love more like Christ. It is definitely a challenge some days, but I know that Jesus is with me and is working in my life through it all. 

The Lord has also opened the door for me to return to Guatemala to visit and serve NLCH once more for the month of April. I look forward to seeing the children that have completely stolen my heart and continue to love them with the love of Jesus. I pray that Christ would be glorified in my time there, as well as in my life from day to day.

its hard to believe this is my last few days, my last weekend, here in guatemala. my time here has gone so fast and i can't even believe all that has happened in my life these past months. the other day someone asked me to share with them my experience when i get home and as i began to think about what to share, i was slightly overwhelmed. how do you summarize 6 months of this? i'm sure i will figure it out. as for now, please be praying for my last few days here to be enjoyed and that i could have good final memories. also be praying for what God has for me next.